I am appalled at the way our government allows others to tell women what to do with our bodies. If we choose birth control, then by all means we should have the right to get it. These Religious stores have caused the government to bow down again. As a U.S citizen I believe in the separation of church and state! When a government rules and makes decisions based on threats of closure of companies because they don't agree with the way things are being done, what kind of message does that send? I don't agree with paying taxes like I do. Does that mean I should stop? Maybe the country will bow down to my need?
We have real issues that need to be addressed. It is up to the individual if they want to take birth control or not. I think we should at least give them the option. I know every child is a blessing, but if sex is only for procreation, then ask yourselves why people continue to have it without intending to have kids? There is more to intimacy than pure reproduction. Just like there is more to an individual's choice. My womb, my choice! Until you live and understand the functions of my body, then you can give me your opinion!
There are women who rely on birth control to normalize their hormone functions. PCOS sufferers, look it up! It is an actual condition. So is this not denying them that same option? No one is forcing women or men to use birth control, they are just wanting them to have the option. I would rather be handed a condom, with the option, then not to have a choice at all. Women we have to stop bowing down and letting other people tell us what our bodies need and don't need!! You never hear them tell a man that right? STOP TRYING TO CONTROL US!!! We have voices, we have thoughts! WE HAVE RIGHTS!!! Stand up! Say it loud! BE HEARD!!
I am here working on my homework and listening to the soundtrack for Vampire Academy the movie. I should be ashamed but it has some pretty good tunes. That being said, I often find that music speaks to me, in ways that some of you may relate to.
There have been times in my life where I had someone or some situation on my mind, and the very song that reminded me of that just happens to come on the radio. There have been many times where my broken heart has been eased by a ultra girl power song. The funniest yet most ironic time was when I got my heart broken as the song "Love Hurts" was playing on the radio. Now if that isn't proof that the powers that be have a sense of humor, I don't know what is. The truth of the matter is, that music soothes the soul, good or bad. It lets you feel, live your emotions. You don't have to be surrounded by people to feel. Some of my best memories of healing moments with music are when I am riding alone in the car, a song that I needed to hear comes on and I am able to either sing at the top of my lungs and really feel it, or shed a few lonely tears and ultimately feel better. If you are not
Body image has been a huge struggle for me in my life. I keep trying to convince everyone that the shell they see is not me. Inside I feel vibrant, alive, thin, healthy, and beautiful. My outside shell seems to be a buffer between me and the real world. I understand that when those who love me want me to be healthy and happy, it is because they care. In the same instance though, my mind goes down a deeper darker path. It is this part of my mind that thinks, I am ugly, depressing, and not lovable. People will always try to tell me otherwise, but it is not them that lead me to this. It is sad to say, society did. Every time a child calls me "fat" I know it was not their fault. It was something they are taught. Every time I walk in a room of people who stare, and pass judgement on me, I feel it. For those silly few who make fun of me elsewhere, but are nice to me, I feel it. Until we wake up and realize we are all people just trying to live and survive and fulfill what dreams we have, it will always serve as a roadblock. Most people say just brush the hater's off. Go on a diet for yourself. Why don't you get that operation?
Truth be told, words can hurt, whether or not they are meant to. All my life since I was just a five year old kid, I have been told to lose weight, you will feel better. Told that if you want to get married and have a family, just lose the weight. If you want to feel better, just lose the weight. The hardest part for anyone outside of me to realize, it is isn't that easy. If it were I would have done it a long long time ago. I once worked at a summer camp for 3 months, I walked about 5 miles a day, and ate only 3 well balanced meals. During those three months, I lost some weight, but it get's disheartening when it still isn't enough. Or you are certain it should have been more.
I have struggled with thyroid issues for as long as I can remember, and because of this medical problem, losing weight is even harder. It is an added road block. I am writing this to say that I may never be a perfect size, I may always have my "fat suit", but one thing will never change. Who I am and the way I treat others. Beauty is beyond physical, it is inside each of us. True beauty comes from the way you interact with other human beings and with nature. Now if we as people could take off the blinders and see each other for who we really are, we may have a fighting chance.
Most of you who know me, hear me talk about my Dad all the time. It is just hard to express how much he has done for me in my life.
This man married my mother when I was about 5 yrs old. We ended up in a Brady Bunch situation. All within a very short span of time, a five year old's prayer was answered. Not only did I get the best Dad ever, I was blessed with a beautiful sister and a pretty cool older brother. Though for them I was probably more of a pain in the ass. :)
Dad, adopted my older brother and I, no questions asked. As far as I knew he never hesitated, he just dove in and took us on. He opened his home and his heart. Throughout the years all my important milestones in life were instructed by him. Starting from tying my tennis shoes (though I am pretty sure my sister helped a lot during this step), riding my bike, shooting my first BB gun, my first toy train, all the way to learning to drive. Dad took each of these tasks on with amazing patience and understanding. It was the tasks he has taken on later in life that have left me speechless and full of gratitude.
Back in 1997, we lost our maternal grandfather, a wonderful man in his own right, but I'll save that for later. Dad had a conversation with him just hours before he passed away. My grandfather, asked him to make sure all of us were taking care of, especially his wife, my grandmother. He knew before he passed that it would be a huge task to ask. My grandmother had Alzheimer's. She suffered for over ten years, not knowing who we were, where she was, and had slowly lost herself. One of the worst diseases to watch.
My father, again, dove in opened his heart and his home to help care for her. After an unfortunate incident left my grandmother penniless, my Dad bore the brunt of the burden. He worked and paid for her care out of his own pocket. He covered whatever charges medicare did not. During these ten years, my mother also lost her job. Here he was the single breadwinner supporting them both.
Why? Why would one individual go through this, especially if he really didn't have to? There are more struggles and burdens during these dark times as I tend to call them, but he kept going. Only to now have to take care of my mother who has now gone blind.
So when I think of Father's Day, I am amazed at how blessed we have been in our family. I am not saying Dad's perfect, I am just saying he is awesome in my book!
Happy Father's Day to all you out there!
Welcome Home Roxy Carmicheal- I am a big Wynona Ryder fan, her darkness speaks to me :). This movie is a great look at an individual who knows what makes her happy and just wants to figure out her world on her terms. With a name like Dinky, how could you not rock to your own tune?
Welcome to the Dollhouse- Way abstract, odd and awkward to boot! Heather Matarrazo's performance is amazing. If you appreciate Napoleon Dynamite, please watch this. Note: There is a awkward creepy factor that may make some of you uncomfortable.
Lars and the Real Girl- Very outside the box. Awkward man falls in love with a Sex Doll. That's all I am giving you, watch it. It is great! Not what you expect. Ryan Gosling's character portrayal is spot on. Wonderful movie.
Nowhere- This Greg Araki film was the first one I accidentally came across one night about 12 years or so ago. I watched it once and it has stuck in my mind ever since. Odd plot, casting is full of interesting young people who moved on to make a name for themselves. If you are in the mood for something non mainstream and way out of left field this is it!
Babycakes- Totally cheesy made for TV movie, that I love yet hate at the same time. I enjoy seeing a big girl win but her methods are very questionable. Gotta love Ricki Lake no matter what her size is! :) Give it a whirl and comment below!
Yesterday afternoon I got the pleasure to meet Ms. Maria "Mickey" Lorera. I had an assignment for my mass media class and Mickey was gracious enough to lend her time. This woman is amazing!
I walked into the retirement home expecting to meet someone a lot different. As I sat and waited for Mickey, I pondered what gems of knowledge this 92 year old woman would have to share. I was given plenty of insight.
A woman walked up to me who looked not a day over 65 and introduced herself as Maria Lorera and stated she was the one I was waiting for. I thought for sure there was a mistake, the woman I was looking for was over 90. Mickey just laughed. She asked me how old I thought she was, and as I kept adding ten years on she stopped me at 92. I was dumbfounded. How could this woman be 92 and so full of life?
Mickey gave me insight on what it was like in the 1920's and 30's growing up in El Paso without media entertainment. She said she was part of the "lamplighter's" generation. They use to sit under the lamp lights and play dominoes or cards at night. When I began asking her about her history with sound recordings and such she gave me a whole new perspective.
Her family did not have a record player, but one of her girlfriends would lend them her phonograph and as the President for the Girls Scout alternative group called the Girls Reserves, they would host parties all the time. Mickey loves to dance, she said she would take dance lessons for 30 cents a piece. One time she got to perform on stage at The Plaza Theatre as an understudy. It was great! She loved it.
As we chatted on I found out that she was able to see Al Jolson live at The Rex Theater, and with that she broke into song! She started singing "Mame I love you" followed swiftly by "Swanee River". A born entertainer. Her favorite movie was Gone With The Wind and she said they all cheered as Clark Cable gave his infamous, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." line. She had a crush on Mr. Gable and an ever bigger one on Mickey Rooney! Her favorite actress was Shirley Temple, with that she busted out singing "Animal crackers in my soup." Her eyes lit up as she recounted stories of her youth.
She began telling me how her "guts were bigger than her brain". She lived in a sheltered home with an slightly overbearing mother. In Mickey's words, she said, "She would tell me no, so I found another way." Goes to show teenage rebellion is nothing new.
Over all what I learned from Mickey was that no matter what life brings you, let the monkey off your back and you will thrive! She said she was in a marriage for 44yrs to a man she was "forced" to marry. Once her kids were gone and thriving on their own, she was able to free herself. She said she has been happy ever since.
It just makes me think about what luggage each one of us carries as part of obligations and if we truly let go and pursue happier courses how different our lives may be.
I by no means am saying drop your "luggage" and leave. I am just simply stating that analyzing what truly makes us miserable may be a start in lightening our load, so if the time show's itself to let go, we are able to do so. All major steps in life take courage, heart, and brains. Much like my beloved Wizard of Oz states. I say let's get happy!
So after a day of interviews and writing, I finally accomplished my goal! I submitted my pilot teleplay for the Austin Film Festival! As I didn't get to edit it as I normally would I am learning that sometimes the intuitive spirit in which I write may just be what I need to trust. For years I have found my writing gets worse after long periods of editing. My original thoughts get jumbled into a long incoherent mess. So for the first time in a long time I have trusted my instincts. Let's hope it pays off finally! As I am burning the midnight oil and trying to finish what I started, I am entering a new chapter in life. The sense of accomplishment has finally taken hold of me, and for once I am unafraid. However, this could be just my exhaustion talking. We will find out soon enough! Thank you to those who have supported me and helped me thus far. Without your words of encouragement I don't know where I would be. That being said, I bid you a good night and a happy tomorrow! :)