I have been dealing with a deeply personal issue for the past few years. For the sake of those involved I cannot provide specifics. Let's just say watching as loved one suffers through a self-inflicted issue is frustrating, sad, and mostly tiring. You can only help so much.
After years and years of trying to sort out my feelings about the situation, it has sadly, slowly and seemingly taken my emotional well-being through a meat grinder. I struggle daily with anger issues and resentment. I try to push these thoughts aside, and be positive.
It never fails, just when I think I have the upper hand, life swings its hand and slaps me in the face.
That song by Chumbawumba, "I get knocked out but I get up again" seems to be my theme as of late. However, one thing has helped me get through this last rough patch is watching Netflix. It was here that I discovered a new favorite sitcom, "Melissa & Joey". I caught up on all three seasons, and started watching season 1 again. I could not get enough. I watched episodes after work and school. Any free time I could I was glued to it. The characters were very funny, realistic, and relatable. The chemistry of the group was great and the story lines were reminiscent of those of the TGIF days! I am sorry to say, but sometimes good classic comedy surpasses this new "in your face" comedy any day. It is called classic for a reason! :) Good values never get old. Hot in Cleveland is another classic example, it is very wholesome in a sense you don't cringe at the topics that are being discussed. You can watch the series while sitting in the room with anyone. I digress though. I just enjoyed being able to laugh and be free of mind spinning worries for a bit. It made my time easier somehow.
People may say that is a very unhealthy way to spend your time. I am sure if I was to be psychoanalyzed you would be correct. However, I see it this way, if it calmed me down, let me escape for a bit, and did no harm to anyone including myself, what's the big deal. Buffy, Angel, and Charmed are next on the block! :)
Many people binge on Netflix to watch different TV series and movies. I think it is awesome, now if I could just put a treadmill in front of it while I watched, I may kill two birds with one stone. :)
In the comments below share with me your favorite "Netflix Therapy"! I would love to hear your thoughts!! :)
The masks we wear,
are always shown to hide the feelings
to those who are unknown.
Yet to these strangers it would seem,
We are our truest forms at the seams.
No lies need to escape our mouths,
For their opinions do not count.
It is those who are close you see,
Those in which we call family.
We hide our selves,
Our true being,
In the hopes of their unseeing.
We do not want to cause a fuss.
We do not want to distort the trust.
They would not understand what secrets we hide,
To them it would be pesticide.
The words we dare not utter, the things we suppress,
All in hopes it is for the best.
The mask we wear to show good face,
Is the one that everyone can feel is fake.
True to yourself they always say,
True to those who love you always.
How can you be your true self when those that love you,
The mask you wear and the character you play,
Is all in wait for the freedom you crave.
One day you can shed this mask,
And have no fear.
For what you really want
Is so close so near,
That if you don't jump for it now,
It shall slip, disappear somehow.
Dare you shed my mask and fear?
Just to be free to accept what is now here?
This mask you wear it protects you now.
From the reality of knowing the it is time to step out.
Be the person you are intended to be,
Never mind all the mockery,
Embrace this new journey with all that you can,
Let the world know no one needs to hold your hand.
Be brave and confident, and know no bounds.
For this mask has just hit the ground.
I wsdI I wi
I wish I could have done better.
I wish I could I only knew,
That we would have so little time with you.
You came into our lives unexpectedly.
You stole our hearts immediately.
With your air of confidence despite your handicap,
In no time at all you were a head of the pack.
You never backed down, and never gave in.
You made sure we knew when you were near,
Your voice was very loud and very clear.
You had a way of melting our hearts with your handsome face.
We never thought you would leave this place.
We love you so much and so dear.
The tears keep flowing because you are not here.
We know you can see, and frolic in the fields.
We know you have plenty of loved ones to hold you near.
Your passing was harsh and very sad.
If we only knew what little time we had.
We would have spoiled you more and held you ever so dear.
Now we live to see our worst fear, your beautiful soul disappear.
Yet we take comfort to know,
That our beloved ones who have passed on,
Now have a companion to love and dote on.
FEAR IS NOT AN OPTION!
This horrid emotion that fuels so much ignorance and pain, is the worst four letter word known to man. This word has fueled wars, trapped people from themselves, and caused a world full of isolation out of fear of the unknown. This word has blocked blessing of compassion and kindness. How often do we see an individual that needs assistance, yet ignore their need out of fear? Why do we not talk to our neighbors? Why do we not talk to the new kid in class? FEAR!
Fear has entrapt humanity into a standstill. How can we possibly progress if we are afraid to open our mouths, pick up a phone, reach out a hand? This one four letter word has killed dreams, killed hope, and worst of all killed love.
People are afraid to be vulnerable. Why? How can this one word have so much power? How can this emotion bring us to our knees? Worst of all how did we allow it to control us?
I look at generations past and I see courage, kindness, compassion. I see neighbors who knew one another. I see strangers helping strangers without fear. My great-grandmother would take in those who were hungry during the depression and feed them, along with her hotel customers. This was a normal response. There was no red tape, there was no organization, no loopholes to jump through. She took a chance. She didn't allow fear to run her home. Instead they lead with courage, compassion and most of all kindness.
Fight I say, Fight this fear!! Stand up! Let your humanity shine bright. Let your compassion rule your heart. Take a chance. Replace this horrid four letter word with wonderful ones.
Replace FEAR with HOPE.
Replace FEAR with LOVE.
Say no to fear and say YES to HUMANITY!! Love one another!